|The Anti-Discrimination folks went ballistic when they saw the name and demanded that it be renamed … LAGALZ and LAMANZ. The Feminists went ballistic saying they weren’t playing dressed in menswear. The French went ballistic and demanded it be corrected to LESHOMMES … predictably they didn’t give a toss about including Les Femmes.|
|Beleaguered sponsor Ian Chambers apologized to all parties … he said he had failed French at school and will consider changing his store name to the more grammatically correct LESMANZ. Mr. Chambers also agreed that women could wear whatever they wanted … preferably skimpy and short…. he offered to play the tournament in drag as a sign of solidarity.
With such controversy raging it was amazing we got 4 groups to play.
|Group A Tom Parker 3 James O’Grady 2 Elle Hoskin 1 Will Hoskin 0
The despicable young talented and fit group … the Hoskin family puts in two entries to double their chances but the handicappers have caught up with Will. Anyway with Parker genes in him Tom is always going to be a problem. Special prize for Elle …the only female prepared to brave this scandalous tournament.
Group B Sam Clarke 3 Ben Shepherd 2 Mike Whitehead 1
I had a bad feeling seeing Mike was playing two lads half his age and twice his handicap. No doubt he feels the same now. Sam, aka the giant killer, wins another while newcomer Ben shows promise.
Group C Greg Henderson 2 Mark Hartnell 2 Rob Jolly 2 Dean Cinque 0
Crikey I wouldn’t want to get in the way of this super competitive low handicap bunch. They had to shorten the games just to finish on the same day. Greg went home and ate a raw side of beef to celebrate.
Group D Ian Chambers 3 Rod Unmack 2 Robert Lagerberg 1 Ian Dowman 0
The elite group … featuring respectively the notorious sponsor, a computer whiz, a Russian whiz and an elderly pensioner. Ian Chambers, grateful there were no women or Frenchmen present, hammered the ball at his fellow whizzes. Rod however took him to the wire and in the end there was only one game in it. Presenting himself with his own prize Chambers said he planned to play in all four groups next year.
Congratulations Tom, Sam, Greg and Ian.